Last night’s How I Met Your Mother (the sitcom mirror of a navel-gazing generation) revolved around the quest for New York’s most perfect burger: "The bun, a sesame-freckled breast of an angel, resting gently on the ketchup and mustard below … flavors mingling in a seductive pas de deux. And then, a pickle — the most playful little pickle! Then a slice of tomato, a leaf of lettuce, and a patty of ground beef so exquisite, swirling in your mouth, breaking apart and then combining again in a fugue of sweet, savory — so delightful. This is no mere sandwich of grilled meat and toasted bread — this is God, speaking to us through food." Or, as another put it: "I love this burger so much, I want to sew my ass shut."