Among the products that Mason Currey taste tests, the most blechtacular would seem to be Morning Spark’s caffeine, guarana, and yerba maté–infused oatmeal — “every spoonful tastes like it has a shot of cough syrup mixed in.” Wilford Brimley would not approve. Next up, Jelly Belly Cherry Extreme Sport Energizing Jelly Beans (got all that?) are “terrible — they taste like chewable, past-their-expiration-date cough drops.” They do, however, provide a “mild buzz.” Buzz Bites Chocolate Energy Chews offer a “smooth, mellow buzz” if you don’t mind a chemical aftertaste. Engobi Cinnamon Surge Energy Go Bites, which are similar to Taco Bell’s Cinnamon Twists, yield the biggest buzz by far — “after eating most of the bag, I felt like my eyes had been hooked up to tiny batteries.” The winner, however, was Penguin Caffeinated Peppermints — “the only product I tested whose medicinal taste could be considered agreeable.” Strangely, Currey didn’t sample Mad Croc energy gum (look for the pissed-off crocodile on the package), but trust us, that’s for the best.
Anti-Energy Drink Comes to NYC [Fork in the Road/VV]
What’s The Buzz? [Slate]
