Grub Street

The Van Leeuwen truck may be all the rage, but the perverts at Vice remain loyal to Kool Man — so much so that in the current issue, they’ve posed models against ice-cream trucks and asked their owners prodding questions, such as “Do you ever get the urge to just slam on the brakes and throw it in reverse when kids are chasing the truck?” (Thank God, driver Ruben does not.) Actually, most of the questions are routine (Henry’s personal sales record is $700, Ruben hears the jingle in his sleep), but we love Pablo’s answer to this question: “Have you ever fought with another driver over a route?”

Oh yeah. They’ll come up to the truck and say, “Hey Papo, you can’t work around here.” I tell them, “This is America and I can work wherever I want.” Once this guy from this other company — Mr. Cone — said, “You want to fight?” So I stepped out and punched him. He never bothered me again.

This guy really puts the “man” in “ice-cream man!”

Do you ever have girls asking for free ice cream?
All the time. Sometimes I’ll give free ice cream to a girl and say, “You look niiiceee.”

What if she’s ugly? Do you still give her a freebie?
No.

Pablo’s the guy in the opening spread (sadly, the feature is not online). Let’s just say he’s no Ben Van Leeuwen.