Forbes has released a silly list-icle of the nation’s hardest-drinking cities, and New York doesn’t even rank! We’re way too friggin’ hungover to figure out how they arrived at their conclusions, but they put Austin first (a schoolgirl-ish 61.5 percent of residents have had at least one drink in the past month, 8.8 percent have had more than two drinks per day, and 20.6 percent have had five or more drinks on occasion), followed by Milwaukee, San Francisco, Providence, Chicago, Seattle, Cleveland, St. Louis, Boston, Cincinnati, Pittsburgh, Virginia Beach, Portland, Jacksonville, and Detroit. What’s the deal here? Were those hordes of outdoor drunks the Times told us about not counted? Do Jersey and Strong Island interlopers really make up that much of our drinking population? And come on, Columbia and NYU students: Where’s the boost you’re supposed to be giving us? Apparently, this city can’t make the grade on “cocktailians” alone.
America’s Hard-Drinking Cities [Forbes]