Identify the Restaurant in ‘Waiter Rant’ Before ‘The Waiter’ Is Outed Tomorrow

waiter rant

Courtesy of HarperCollins


Tomorrow morning the Post will be the first to reveal the identity of “The Waiter,” the author of the blog turned book Waiter Rant. Though certain readers have e-mailed Steve (the name he gives at the end of the book) to let him know they’ve surmised the real name of “The Bistro” — the Tuscan restaurant where he worked for six years — it has never been publicly identified. For legal reasons, Steve will never reveal it, and only one of his diners ever fingered him as the author. We thought we’d give you a description of The Bistro (keep in mind, details come from the book, so they may have been altered to avoid identification). If you care to guess — or better yet, know! — the real name of the restaurant or (before the Post reveals it) the last name of The Waiter, leave a comment. The first person who is proven correct will get two tickets to our Highbrow BBQ

The Bistro is a white-tablecloth restaurant in a neighborhood where a lot of celebrities live.

It’s described as “A small, 50-seat restaurant nestled in an artsy neighborhood somewhere in the New York area. A long rectangle tucked inside an old building, its walls are painted off-white, and the high ceilings and exposed ductwork are terra-cotta red.” Some of this description is likely fabricated.

It has been open for about eight years.

There’s a large window in the front. The Waiter has been described as, “The sad man in the window.”

It’s open during lunch but doesn’t deliver.

The owner, “Fluvio,” is an ex-chef in his late forties. He is married (once divorced). He opened a second restaurant about two years ago, and then another. One of them closed. He is described as jumpy, irritable, angry, tense, anxious, paranoid, unkempt, sloppy, and addicted to gadgets. But he is also prone to kindness— unlike many small-business owners he gives waiters the option of spending $450 a month on health care.

The handsome chef, “Armando” can bench press 400 pounds but has a pleasant disposition.

The menu features pollo cardinale, spaghetti pomodoro, steak, lemon-drop martinis, the occasional raspberry chocolate cake, and “organically farmed” salmon for $22.95. It’s “famous” for its rack of wild boar.

It has been favorably reviewed by New York Times and Zagat (it received high marks in service from Zagat).

The art on the walls is for sale.

There’s a back room that was once closed after a customer projectile vomited and
suffered a stroke that brought ambulances to the scene.

The Bistro was briefly identified after Russell Crowe visited it and a fan site revealed its name. However, the Waiter promptly convinced the site to edit out the name.

Steve, who was a manager when he left the restaurant, wears glasses, is overweight, and was in his late thirties when he wrote the book.

So there you have it. Any guesses?