How to Be an Appetizer Terrorizer

Zach Galifianakis perfected the art of serving guests passive-aggressively in his Absolut ads, but if that wasn’t enough, Yoni Brenner brings more advice on The New Yorker’s “Shouts and Murmurs” page. Take note when you cook for your annoying share mates this weekend: “Have you ever noticed how sun-dried tomatoes and top-grade peyote look exactly the same?” And: “Vegetarian friends? Try veggie rumaki: wrap a strip of imitation bacon around a water chestnut, spear with a toothpick, and broil — but instead of imitation bacon use real bacon, and instead of a water chestnut use veal.” And there are a dozen more ways where those came from to get your guests thinking you’re an obsessive sociopath!

Fourteen Passive-aggressive Appetizers [NYer]