The Perfect Gift for the Carnivore With a Broken Jaw

Slaughterhouse H2O: MeatwaterIn what is easily the most genius beverage satire since the Meatshake, Brooklyn photographer Till Krautkramer has created a line of Meatwater for those who want to have a “special relationship with protein” (per the hilarious back-of-the-bottle spiel) and “cut down on exercising and eating time, and have more time to enjoy yourself.” An admirable thought! The line of imaginary bottled bevies includes Dirty Hot Dog (“An authentic taste of the Big Apple you can sip through a straw!”) and Italian Sausage (“You’ll feel like youse is at da famous San Gennaro festival in New Yawk’s Little Italy after drinkin’ dis”). If Peking Duck or Beef Jerky water don’t sate your hunger (or thirst?), you can enter a contest by suggesting your own flavor. Forget that, though: Our award goes to the person who actually makes these flavors a reality.

Meatwater [Official site]