A reader sends us a Craigslist posting from a Momo-freako who is really hard up to go to Ko with a fellow foodie, preferably a Brazilian porn star. This is easily the best ad we’ve seen since Tom Dubrowski seduced Gael — in fact if we didn’t know any better, we’d think it was Dubrowski again, hoping for an even comelier dining companion (this guy has his sights set on Padma).
I got a Momofuku Ko reservation!
But what fun will it be without a date? I could take one of my dude friends, but I’d rather use it as an excuse to sidle up with a cute girl and flirtatiously feed each other bits of Momofuku culinary goodness. Of course we would have to get to know each other beforehand, so maybe a date during the week, grab a beer or cocktail or two?
As to who I am: foodie (obviously), artsy-but-professional - as in, I have a real job that pays well, but still have certain artistic pursuits and don’t take my work home with me. Goofball, tall, handsome, laid back, cynical, snarky, realist. Short-bearded, kind of Jewy. But like most NYC Jews, bascially an athiest. My church is the Union Square Farmer’s Market. I counterbalance the duck fat and pork products by going to the gym a few times a week, but I’m not obsessive about it. Somehow I stay in a modicum of shape, though that six-pack is still eluding me. Probably on account of the occasional other kind of six packs.
As to who I’m not: an investment banker, a sugar daddy, or a Nader voter.
As to who you are: a Brazilian porn star. No, just kidding. Um… cute and witty and sarcastic and flirtatious and somewhat uninhibited and without any major baggage that you feel the need to talk about on a first date would be a good start. Probably on the petite side - just a preference. Age - whatever. Be at least old enough to legally drink, I guess. Not that I drink a heck of a lot, but maybe we’ll go for the wine pairings, and I don’t want Chef Chang getting busted by Johnny Law. So let’s say… 21 to 41. Twenty years ought to be a decent enough spread. If you can afford to go dutch, move to the front of the line, but if you’re so amazingly awesome that I’ll be inspired to spring for both of us, do feel free to write anyway.
What else? You probably know exactly what I mean when I say “If you happen to be Padma Lakshmi you automatically win” - and more than likely you’d say the same thing were you in my position. I might also consider making the same offer to Anthony Bourdain, because he’d be kind of awesome to have dinner with. But Tony, dude, we’d have to skip the flirtatious stuff. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that…) I dig you and all, man, but I ain’t romantically forking foie gras into your mug. So, like, get your hand off my knee. I know I’m irresistable, but please… decorum. You have a wife and child for god’s sake. Think of them.
Mind you, though I was kidding earlier, actual Brazilian porn stars should not think I’m ruling them out categorically. I mean, I want to be fair to everyone, y’know?
Okay, your turn - A picture or a myspace link or something would be nice. Promise to send both back. Would stick one on this ad right here but I’m at my work computer right now and don’t have any pictures here. I suppose I could attach a cost-benefit analysis chart, but that wouldn’t be very sexy. But please please please, write more than one/two lines? Tell me something that’ll differentiate you from the other respondents, y’know? “Hey, I’m interested - Your Name” isn’t going to interest me much…
I got a Momofuku Ko reservation! - 36 (East Village) [Craigslist]