Confessions of a Serial Ronald McDonald Stealer

ronald mcdonald

Just clowning around.Photo courtesy of Gothamist

Yesterday, Gothamist posted an amazing aerial shot showing a Ronald McDonald statue that had apparently been swiped from the roof of a midtown McDonald’s and boldly relocated atop the apartment building next door. Apparently this happens quite a bit — or, at least, we know someone who pilfered no less than three statues when he was a suburban teenager. The former hamburglar's account, and a photo of the damage.

ronald mcdonald
I was waiting by my parents’ Volvo while my two friends tackled the statue down off of its pedestal. It was actually anchored to both the pedestal and the ground beneath said pedestal by two massive steel cables. Good thing we had brought a hammer and chisel (never know when you’ll need them). I still remember the sound of my friend’s swift chisel blow to each of those two cables, and the laughter that pierced the damp evening as they sprinted towards my Volvo with it. We stole two other Ronald statues — one of them was ceremoniously filled with kerosene, set aflame, and dropped 300 feet off of a bridge.

Horrifying. We’d like to encourage anyone with information about the stolen Ronald to come forward. We’ll reward you with our favorite Mickey D’s creation — a McGriddle breakfast sandwich.

Ronald McDonald Is Movin' on Up [Gothamist]

Update: Gothamist hears from the owner of the statue and it turns out it was taken from the trash, not stolen.