Ridiculous Reviews: Mixed Metaphors And Short Attention Spans Are Like Oil And Water?

This review came in for a pizza chain location in Auburn, entitled “Worst in Chicago.” We should all be so expressive:


I thought this was some of the best pizza in chicago, but after years of service I have realized that this pizza joint has arthritis. Not only is the wait time long but the customer service sucks ass. If you have something better to do grow grey hair, the wait is so long you’ll die of hunger. When you check on your order the employee gives you so much attitude you would rather wait for your pie, stab the delivery guy with a nasty note , and UPS him back to [REDACTED] Head Quarters. When trying to resolve an order there is no resolve. Consumer Beware! If you have a number that is already in the system it can not be used at a different address as i was told, or maybe lack luster management couldn’t surpass this minor crux. All in all, [REDACTED] is a tasty once in a while, but not a satisfaction guaranteed!

We have no idea what this person is angry about. His pizza took too long? What does it mean to “surpass” a “crux,” anyway? We will never understand anything.

[Photo: (Head) Quarters, quick5pnt0]

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Ridiculous Reviews: Mixed Metaphors And Short Attention Spans Are Like Oil And