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Milk and Honey Prompts Tales of Quiet Desperation

We’ve received a simply overwhelming amount of responses (some of them real tearjerkers — especially the photo of some guy’s girlfriend in a bikini) to our offer to give up Milk and Honey’s number to the imbiber who proves he needs it the most. What follows are some of the entrants who, though they didn’t push us over the edge, did move us, or at least piqued our interest. (It’s hard to be moved when someone tells us, “You would in fact be helping all of my dates sit thru my boring jokes and lame gossip”!)

• The guy whose girlfriend broke up with him at Milk and Honey (causing them to get kicked out) because he “fell in love with the hot Italian bartendress.” Now he wants to “go back to conquer the girl of [his] dreams.”

• The man who is six years sober and, possessed by “visions of freshly muddled sugar plums,” wants to “return to the drinking fold with style and panache.” Little Branch serves the same drinks.

• The woman who wants to one-up a younger, short-skirted co-worker who has promised to take her horny male associates to the next “Über-exclusive spot.”

• The guy who is “drowning in a sea of T.G.I.Fridays” in North Carolina and wants to impress his wife during a NYC visit.

• The person who wants to take her aunt out to “debut her new single self” after the end of a 25-year marriage.

• The Jewish gent who wants to spend Yom Kippur atoning for his sins in the Promised Land.

• The woman who wants to celebrate her and her boyfriend’s three-year anniversary at the site of their first date.

• The woman who brags, “Sasha has always finessed me well in the past.” Um?

• The woman who is “robbing the cradle with [her] new boy toy” who takes her to cheap places and wants to “educate the child.”

• The guy who sent us an IM between him and his friend proving to us that he would get a threesome if he scored the number.

• The woman who wants to surprise her husband with a visit on their tenth anniversary.

• The woman who hasn’t gone back since she associates it with her ex and begs, “Tell ME the number so I can erase the old image I associate with M&H, and let me experience it anew!!”

• The guy who forwarded an entire e-mail exchange with his girlfriend (right down to talk about how to cure a blister on his toe) to prove they — just today! — were thinking of going.

So if none of these cut it, who’s the winner? Tune in tomorrow to find out. For one glorious evening, we’re keeping this number all to ourselves.

Earlier
Milk and Honey Grovelers: Step Up Your Game
How Badly Do You Want Milk and Honey’s New Number?

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