Grub Street

When’s the last time you ordered a Vodka Perrier? Gin and Perrier? That overwhelming chorus of “never”s is deafening to Perrier executives, and they’ve taken their crack marketing team to the Lower East Side to remedy this situation. Last night at Fontana’s we received a bottle of “Crazier,” and a free drink made of pineapple juice, coconut vodka, and Perrier. And yes, it was as disgusting as it sounds.

We also played with fun coasters that doubled as puzzles. (Beyond vomit, could there be a graver staff irritant in a bar than having to clean up scores of little puzzle pieces?) Once the pieces were removed, the coasters read “Luckier,” or “Manlier,” or “Sexier,” among others. So clevier! We can’t wait to increase our bar tab with Perrier. Soda water is just insufficient and inexpensive. —Aileen Gallagher