Grub Street

If you’ve been to Rancho Jubilee, the totally coco-loco Dominican restaurant in the wilds of Elmhurst that’s fashioned after an over-the-top beach hut (thatch roofing, cavelike plaster ceilings, stuffed turkeys and roosters, waiters in tropical shirts), it’s probably because you had five hours to kill before a flight out of La Guardia a few blocks away and you thought you might as well spend it drinking tequila from a coconut, and then a pineapple, and then a cantaloupe, and then a flaming volcano. Does it beat drinking at the airport bar? Oh, yes. And do the bathrooms beat the ones near Gate 14? Claro que si, papi!

Concept: Follow the neon sign that says “Letrina,” go through the curtain of rope, and you’re in a cave’s outhouse.

Privacy: The stall doors — paneled with logs — are so close to the sink and urinals that you’ll have to rely on the blaring meringue music to give you any sort of cover.

Amenities: The sink is a mass of corn kernels and sunflower seeds under Plexiglas. The toilet is completely covered in wood slats so it looks a handmade latrine (there’s a cute little cutout where the flusher is).

Drawbacks: There’s so little space in the stalls that the wastebaskets are placed on top of the toilet.

Strategy: Did we mention this place sells Sniper vodka — in a rifle-shaped bottle? Buy the bottle and “kill yourself” in the stall.

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