Grub Street

Now that we’ve brought you the steaming poop on Keith McNally’s loos, we can’t help but wonder — who are the other restroom-auteurs? The titans who dream up a new restaurant and imagine themselves walking into its grand opening on a red carpet of double-ply? There is one such man: Mr. Jeffrey Chodorow. When we praised his Kobe Club restrooms last week, we thought the tiles looked familiar — indeed they’re a holdover from Ono, also designed by “Chodobro” Jeffrey Beers. Shall we visit what may be their finest crossing of creative swords? Theme: Like the old Sega game Contra, the futuristic space contains many levels and sliding doors. Off the curtained, circular communal-sink area, two giant semicircular portals are outfitted with an animated 3-D hologram of a karate-chopping man or woman.

Privacy: Gigantic sliding doors latch shut to enclose you in private WCs that you could park a Mini Cooper in.

Amenities: A large push button flushes the wall-attached Toto toilets. There are motion-activated sinks in the private handicap stall if you’re shy about using the communal washing area.

Drawbacks: The mirrored walls make it easy to look yourself in the eye and burst out sobbing over how much you just spent on your date’s maki rolls.

Strategy: Remember that by being here (and peeing here) you’re violating McNally’s boycott of the Gansevoort Hotel. Use the back entrance (via the Garden of Ono) to avoid his prying eyes.

Rating:

Previously: Bathroom Beef: Quality Meats vs. Kobe Club