"In Greenpoint, it’s relaxed hipsters. They’re cool but messy."Photo: Melissa HomLynnea Scalora, who happens to be our third Ask a Waiter in a row who is in a band (she’s a bassist for White Hills and a performance artist in the show Ego Sensation) started working at Enid’s a year and a half ago when her previous employer, Oznot’s Dish, closed with three days’ notice. She’s also a bartender at Lower East Side nightspot the Annex. “When you’re bartending, people know they have to be good to get the alcohol from you,” she told us when we asked whether she preferred waiting tables or slinging drinks. “When you’re a server, you’re someone’s slave.” Not that she’s leaving Enid’s anytime soon. “It’s nicer because the customers are more relaxed.” Or are they? We asked her about overcaffeinated brunchers, bridge-and-tunnel invaders, and the tavern’s notoriously rowdy softball team.
Is there a difference between the LES hipster and the Greenpoint hipster?
In Greenpoint, it’s relaxed hipsters. They’re cool but messy. Whereas in the LES everyone is cool and dolled up. At the Annex people are very concerned about their image, who they’re seen with, getting wasted, and acting like assholes.
So Enid’s is an A-hole-free zone?
I had these really creepy girls. One time they came in, they were belligerent, wanted to split their check, left a shitty tip, and left me their phone number because they wanted me to call them. Then they kept coming in! I love the people that have no sense of shame.
Do any of the Polish locals ever come in?
There’s a few Polish guys that come in really wasted and we have to kick them out. They’ll start talking to the customers and being super-drunk.
What’s the best way to avoid the brunch line?
Generally Saturdays are better. We start at ten — if you can come before noon, you’ll probably get a table immediately. Around 1 p.m. it will probably be maybe half an hour.
Do people get jacked up from the free coffee you offer them while they’re waiting in line?
By the time it gets later in the afternoon, there’s always a lot of people that are like, “NAAAH! I can’t have any more.” Then you start to walk away and they’re like, “Okay, maybe just half a cup.” And they have five more half a cups. Then there are the people who get too amped on the caffeine; when they sit down and finally look at the menu, they’re so amped that their brain can’t connect what they want, with communicating it with the server, with what’s on the menu.
Do people from the South ever quibble about the grits or other comfort food?
In the South they put pork in the collard greens. People are disappointed that we don’t do that.
Can you tell when people come in after hooking up the night before?
We’ll always comment on that; it’s like reality TV. I had a huge fight between a boyfriend and girlfriend; they were fighting as the food came, didn’t eat any food, they got so pissed off, the guy just pulled money out of his pocket, put it on the table, and left. And of course it wasn’t enough.
Do bridge-and-tunnel kids ever come in on the weekends to hang with the hipsters?
Lately. Maybe once a week I get a group of people ordering dirty martinis and coffee with dessert, or decaf or Splenda. All these things that aren’t what happens at Enid’s.
What happens when the bar’s softball team comes in after games?
They’d get really loud and it would scare everyone away so no one would come for dinner. One night they won the championships and one of the guys on the team threw a beer on me. I was like, “I’m not working Sundays anymore.”