Dear Grub Street,
I stopped in at Rolf’s on Third Avenue the other night for a bite in that kitschy, funny Rolf’s style. Our visit instead ended with my friend getting sprayed in the face with a water bottle. Even as they were handing [the check] to me, the owner kept coming back to verbally attack my friend, using such charming customer-service-oriented phrases as “what you really need is a good f**k.” My friend had to go to the precinct to file a police report. The owner was wearing a tall velvet top hat with knickers, tall socks and boots. When we went to Molly’s after this disaster, we noted nods and familiarity with this behavior. The quote was, “He must be back on the sauce.”
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