Given that we’ve already witnessed a $165 “Truffletini” (which we tasted) at Tini Ristorante, $120 hamburger at DB Bistro Moderne, $200 baked potato at the Four Seasons, and a $1,000 omelette at Norma’s, we weren’t surprised to hear about a $1,000 pizza. All it took was an upscale pizza joint — Nino’s Bellissima Pizza — six containers of caviar, a hardworking publicist, and lo, the four-figure, nine-inch pie was born. One has apparently already been sold, to celebrity ex-cop Bo Dietl. (We await the creation of a truffle doughnut explicitly for him.)
Because New York Magazine forbids its employees, even the ones who toil online, from accepting gifts larger than $50, we brought the two exalted slices we were given back to the office and invited our fellow mine workers to sample them. Made of crème fraîche, six kinds of caviar (including a sac-load of intense black Russian Royal Sevruga, the same kind used in Norma’s omelette), and shaved slices of fresh lobster, the sample sowed confusion in our proletarian ranks. Why, this isn’t pizza at all, most seemed to be thinking. Dense, a little fishy, and undoubtedly tasty, the slices, everyone finally agreed (once the suggestion had been made), tasted something like a bagel with lox and cream cheese. And just so you bakers out there know, we’re not paying more than $250 for one of those things.